felt really scared last night - my autocad programme had some problem. material assignmt for rendering in sketchup has alot of problem rendering curve surfaces... im no where near completion of my 3d cad model... and 11 days left.
i had my bible opened b4 my comp, and really held on the verses in psa 23 - as the computer screen flickers having difficulty processing the file with risk of crashing every few min, i held on to these verses and repeat these words of God in my heart and praying that the comp wld not crash. (and it did not.)
the Lord is my Shepherd,
i shall not be in want.
He make me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake.
Even though I walk through valley of the shadow of death (or through the darkness valley),
I will fear no evil,
for You are with me;
through a christian music programme tt i was listening to - God reminded me of the word "unfailing" love of God. I guess very often I tend to fear of the great "failing possibility" of my own ability in thesis. and every -ve thot that i was having in my mind, somehow the unsung lyrics of the instrumental songs on that radio station spoke and dispelt those -ve thots & fear...
this morning during breakfast - i told God how tired im feeling abt this whole production... thousands of doubting thoughts crowding my mind of what the crit may say abt my scheme ("...not resolved... see...you should have listened to me... not architectural enoff... not sophiscated enoff to be a final year thesis... your drawings do not have the complexity of a final yr project... blah blah blah")
As I read Psa 18-20... i found these verses of promises of God...
I love You, O Lord, my Strength.
The Lord is my Rock, my Fortress and my Deliverer;
my God is my Rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my Salvation,
my stronghold.
I call on to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies....
In my distress I call to the Lord; (Lord, only you know how distress im feeling)
I cried to my God for help. (i felt sometimes i wld never make it to the end and graduate, the mind is a constant battle field of word of God and the -ve thots and fear)
From His temple He heard my voice,
My cry came before Him, into His ears...
You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With Your help, I can advance against a troop;
with my God, I can scale a wall....
Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in Your sight, (O Lord, help me to dwell on and speak of your promises all the time...)
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
(like God answering my call to Him... these verses speak to me)
May the Lord answer You when you are in distress;
may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.
May He send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.
May He remembers all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings.
May He give you the desires of your heart
and make all your plans succeed. (this verse always have double meaning for aki students... must constantly claim it)
We will shout for joy when you are victorious
and will lift up our banners in the name of our God.
May the Lord grant all your requests.
Now I know that the Lord saves His anointed;
He answers him from His Holy Heaven with the saving power of His right hand.
Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.
somehow, as i read these promises of God again and again in my heart, fear started to disappear and peace of God came.
There is much ahead for the next 2 weeks... my mind may not be able to fully perceive how i can make it there... but since God says His unfailing love & word of God is UNFAILING... Lord, I would try my best to trust in You.
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3 comments:
go go go Fang Yu! Jan
yes sis... you are already a conquerer becoz Jesus , our SAVIOUR lives in you, ONLY believe!
This is the verse that I am claiming too,
" ... in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us for. For I am convinced that neither death not life, neither angels not demons, nethier the present nor the futre, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Roman 8 :37-39
sis, i understand what u r goin thru now. But it's also the time when we should even more not let fear control us. Focus! :)
Indeed, when we are weak He is strong in us- His power is made perfect in our weakness! :) Claim that!
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